Warn Torn Feet Kickin’…

Sometimes, I fall down.

or how I learned to stop worrying and love kickball.

As the extended title suggests, this post will concern kickball.  As a game devised for kids and played by adults, it falls squarely into the Social Sports category of adult gaming/sporting.  Friggin’ Professional Sports, and Friggin’ J-Holes Who Act Like Professionals, uh Sports being the other two categories.  A primary component of the Social Sports category is the age old question, “Can I drink this and still perform the basic functions of the game?”.  I don’t think I’ve ever played in a game where the answer wasn’t,  “Yes, in fact I just did.”

Which brings me to yesterday.  Since Seattle has what can generously be called a short summer, outdoor activities are catch as catch can.  This means that short notice is the rule rather than the exception for games.  I got the invite at 3:30 and took the field at 5:30.

We managed to gather 11 people (5 per team, with one all-time pitcher).  By the way, One All-Time Pitcher would be a pretty great name for a gay rapper.  I managed to play both the best and worst game of my life.  Best because I performed well, final out, numerous RBIs and even managing a circus throw to third for an out.  Worst because both team size and position played kept changing, so to say that I occasionally became confused as to my responsibilities would be an understatement.  I think when I was running from second to cover home, unaware that our pitcher moved there was probably the most egregious example.

I had no shortage of effort though.  I’m pretty much always willing to give up the body which is fine most times.  But, for example, when you haven’t played kickball in decades and then you can’t move the next day, it’s less fine.  Let’s examine one of these less fine points in greater detail.

My team (Team Awesome) had been ahead up to this point., though we had to fight off some ferocious rallies.  In fact, we were in the midst of the latest rally from the other team (Team Who Cares), when we found ourselves up by a single run, two out, two on.  I was at second and the ball blooped over the shortstop’s head.  Now, I’m certainly not the most fleet of foot.  If anything I run like I’m carrying a faster guy on my back.  So I ploddingly set off for third.  The outfielder had retrieved the ball and was preparing to throw while I had yet to send the proper requisition forms to my legs to get the goddamn lead out.  Needless to say, it was going to be close at the bag, which is also a good gay rapper name.  I reached the general vicinity of third and commenced my sliding motion.  Beating the throw by a hair, I was safe!  The bases loaded, we piled in three runs and held on for a victory.

Seems fine, right?  Remember how I mentioned there isn’t usually a lot of warning for these things?  Well, it seems that I had elected the “shorts” option when selecting my leg coverings.  All well and good, but we were playing on a dusty, dusty field.  The slide was less a “sliding” motion and more of a “scraping” motion.  Like if you built up a head of steam and just dropped down to one leg on asphalt.

My treatment of the wound has been somewhat lackluster.  It kept me up last night by hurting anytime I did anything ever.  Like, in any way.  Today I’ve cleaned it again, but it doesn’t look too happy.  What’re you gonna do though, just give up that out?


I picked up some bandages, things are looking up now.  Still hurts though.

One wrapped up gam to go please.


About schion65

Is as dangerously dashing as he is handsome.
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7 Responses to Warn Torn Feet Kickin’…

  1. Bluscious says:

    Whenever one finds oneself on the base paths of life, one should always ask oneself, “WWPKMSD?” Well, I’m pretty sure Professional Kicker Matt Stairs wouldn’t be standing on second in the first place, because he would have either kicked the ball into the lake for a home run, or he would have struck out and returned to the dugout for a delicious Pall Mall.

  2. schion65 says:

    I think you may have something there, one way or another PKMS wants to be smoking a Pall Mall. His employment as a Professional Kicker is incidental at best. In all seriousness, I did close my eyes when I kicked. Because, let’s face it, I’m going to be kicking as hard as I can and the ball will either be there or it won’t.

    I was hoping for a walk-off walk though.

  3. Lily A says:

    ouchy… poor Shaun. the bandage is pretty big too. speaking of big things, your TV is massive. also, so glad you’re playing adult sports again, even if it is (yuck) kickball. oh and a sliding pad comes in handy if you’re playing any sport involving tagging and ragged dirt.

    • schion65 says:

      That would be my roommate’s TV. Mine is in the other room and is not nearly as big. Probably best not to associate any additional entrendres with that. 🙂

      I do enjoy playing sports and once this heals up a bit I’ll be playing basketball again. Though it’s hard to tell how things work at the community center near me. There is, or is not, an adult league that plays during the summer. Furthermore, there either is, or is not, a fee to drop in and play. It’s kind of a pain, but hopefully I’ll have it figured out soon.

      • Lily A says:

        figuring it out soon before the summer would be nice

        BTW big softball game tonight. wish us luck

      • schion65 says:

        Well, I need to find a job and attend a wedding before I can make any other travel plans. 😦

        Good luck on softball tonight, though I imagine you’ll just tear them up regardless of my well wishing.

  4. Kevin Brennan says:

    Slid like you were on a dry slip n slide. Whenever I hear of these adult/kid games such as this and softball I can only think of the movie beer league with Artie Lang.

    The key was you had fun, and weren’t an old man about sliding into the base, when you get to the point where you are halfway between the bases and calculate that it requires more than ~75% of your total exertion to get there in time and just lay off, then you will know you have gotten old :). (Not that you were debating or mentioning feeling old).

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